I'm writing again because I have not journaled once since I stopped blogging. This is the only format I've been able to keep up with... and so I blog.
I'm also writing because there are some things that I am compelled to say... and to stay quiet would seem ungrateful. Now please hear me out completely on this (you crowd of 3-4 readers... :) what have you got to lose?
I've mentioned the undeniable evidence of God's reality before... and it struck me the other day as I took a few minutes to travel back thru the only journal I've kept (meaning this) that thru this blog, I can prove it. Ready? It's pretty awesome.
There are some things that I need to journal... and that I need to remember... and I just want you to know how wonderful God is. It's not uncommon to hear sad stories of things that happen in life... what is however breathtaking and more than worth taking note of ... is the beautiful pursuit and love that God has for His children.
Almost 6 months ago now yes, my husband filed for divorce and our hearts have been broken. And that's all I have to say about that. This blog is never, and will never be for any comments whatsoever about him. Period. What I do want to record and to share however is what God has done in our lives, not only in spite of, but also thru these difficult times.
It's a love story afterall. And that's the story that I want to share.
I would love to share some of the many ways that God has been obvious in our circumstances... but today I want to point out how you have witnessed God even going before us. He really does that... He really is more wonderful than we can imagine.
"In your unfailing love you will lead the people you have redeemed. In your strength you will guide them to your holy dwelling." Exodus 15:13
As I scrolled back thru this blog it was thrilling to see... journaled.... that God was preparing us all. I knew He was teaching us and preparing us, and although I didn't know it was for this, it's incredible now to look back and see. He has taught us for quite some time now that He is much bigger than our circumstance... as I wrote about here. And the days that these Scriptures taught me so much... There are so many examples.
They led us to things like my apartment hunt, praying that God would continue to go before us and asking for wisdom. I looked at several and was fine with any of them. When I entered the last place I was struck by how nice it was... "too good for us." Little did I know at that moment that it "just happened to be" a two day special in which the rent was significantly lowered... for every month that I live here. It "just happened" that the only apartment left was the one... next to the playground. And it "just happened" that when I told the kids, Jacob's eyes widened and he shouted that this was the apartment he had prayed for! He ran back to his room and came out with an apartment book... with the name of our apartment circled in crayon.
It "just happened" that a couple of weeks later when I wanted to take the kids away camping to recover a bit, I realized that while the cabin would not cost us, the gas money was more than I could handle. I told the kids in the car and they asked if they could pray. I squirmed a little as I said yes, thinking that even if I had the money I wouldn't be able to spend it on gas! They prayed right there in the car... and then we went about our regular chatters. I checked my voicemail on my cell... and there was a message from our apartment... saying we had won a "random drawing" for a $200 gift card... to Sheetz. That's right, did you catch that?!?! Not just a gift card... but to Sheetz!!! As I played the message for the kids over speaker... I marvelled in the realization that our name had been drawn...even before the kids prayed. God is in control of every detail. And He even cared about our gas money. He didn't have to do that!
So you see... these things did not "just happen." They are my love story. And no one can take that away from me. It was once said that you can't imagine God's hand anymore than you can imagine a well in a desert. It's there or it isn't... and oh my friends, it is. And this is the story that I want to share.
Kiergkegaard once said that "the secret to life is one thing." What I took from that, was that anyone who is really successful in life is focused on just that one thing, for better or for worse. But I want to do well in so many things. As a child of God, as a mother, as a daughter, as a friend... in my new role in the workforce... so what is my one thing? My one thing is hearing the voice of God. All day... every day. To strive after it, to seek after it, and to obey it. That one thing... is the secret to all things. I know it. I miss it alot, I choose to hear my own voice WAY too much... and it hurts me every time, without fail. But when I seek after His voice... well... He's not only led me through situations that I've never faced and dont' know how to face, but He's shown me that the very definition of His leading and my following means He's right in front of me to protect me. The closer I stick to Him... the safer I am. As you can see in my blog banner, I had a necklace made to remind me to focus on "one thing." These are the things that I want to journal, know, and follow. That's the secret to life... one thing.
So here are some things I KNOW... and I just don't think you can prove me wrong.
We can be sad and still be totally and completely safe.
Victory and peace do not depend on circumstance.
The promise for a hope and a future do not depend on circumstance.
Jesus loves you and Jesus loves me. He always has, and He always will.